I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
