I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
