It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
and she was petting her beer can
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
