It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
