We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He felt like a one man threesome
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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