Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
