oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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