it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
