just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
