I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
