Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
