she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Shame - the story of my life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
