Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
