if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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