I am puke
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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