I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
