lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
