hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
