suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
