i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
