There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
