Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
