doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize