So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
