Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
