Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
