She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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