If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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