How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
