your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
