I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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