If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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