so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
