Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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