It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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