I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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