You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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