i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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