i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
