hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
