Jerry, you need to find god
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
