He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
