I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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