If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
