I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
