I seem to have left my pride at pride
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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