K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
That's when you crack a 10am beer
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
