i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
