He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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