I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
